Never Ever
by crazymiko
Summary: Songfic I'm reposting cause it did a little tweaking.


Disclaimers: I don't own Escaflowne it belongs to all the companys that own it, if I did own Escaflowne I wouldn't need this disclaimer now would I? Don't sue I'm just a middle school student the most you'll get is my computer and it's my computer ya hear mine!

I don't own the song "Never Ever" either it belongs to All Saints. I got this idea somewhere around two in the morning, my damn muse has no respect for the fact I need sleep to function at school.

# Never Ever

_A few questions that I need to know  
How you could ever hurt me so   
I need to know what i've done wrong  
And how long it's been going on   
Was it that I never paid enough attention   
Or did I not give enough affection   
Not only will your answers keep me sane   
But i'll know never to make the same mistake again   
You can tell me to my face   
Or even on the phone   
You can write it in a letter   
Either way i've have to know   
Did I never treat you right   
Did I always start the fight   
Either way i'm going out of my mind   
All the answers to my questions I have to find_

Hitomi sighed as her thoughts once again trailed to the far off planet Gaea, specificallt the boy king who had so easily stolen her heart. She couldn't help but ask what had she done wrong, did I not show him I cared? What did I do wrong, how could I have left my heart and happiness behind without a second thought? I haven't been able to enter a sucessful relationship with a guy since I came back. Life was so easy before. Sighing Hitomi looked at the sky wistfully.

_My head's spinnin'  
Boy i'm in a daze   
I feel isolated   
Don't wanna communicate   
I take a shower   
I will scour   
I will roam   
To find peace of mind   
The happy mind   
I once owned yeah_

I tried to talk to my friends, I tried to talk to my mom, why can't I convey my feelings to them anymore, Why can't I stop thinking about you!?! Hitomi yelled at the sky.

_Flexing vocabulary runs right through me   
The alphabet runs right from a to zee   
Conversations, hesatations in my mind   
You got my conscience  
Asking questions that I can't find   
I'm not crazy   
I'm sure I aint done nothing wrong, no   
I'm just waiting cos I heard that this feeling won't last that long_

Why? The question won't leave me alone, how come you won't tell me! Hitomi continued to yell at the sky.

_Never ever have I ever felt so low   
When you gonna take me out of this black hole   
Never ever have I ever felt so sad  
The way i'm feeling yeah you got me feeling really   
Never ever have I had to find   
I've had to dig away to find my own piece of mind   
I've never ever had my conscience to fight   
The way i'm feeling yeah it just don't feel right_

I want to go back, I want him to come I just want to see him again! Hitomi was starting to get hoarse from yelling at the stars that twinkled in seemly mocking amusment at her outburst.

_I'll keep searching  
Deep within my soul  
For all the answers   
Don't wanna hurt no more   
I need peace gotta feel at ease  
Need to be   
Free from pain   
Go insane  
My heart aches yeah_

Hitomi reflected on the time she spent there and her actions, how at first she seemed to love Allen. taking a deep breath Hitomi yelled to the stars again vexated by their stony silence, "Damn you Allen, Damn you Van!" she screamed. Falling to her knees Hitomi began to sob losing hope she would ever see the one who held her heart again.

_Sometimes vocabulary runs through my head  
The alphabet runs right from a to zed   
Conversations, hesatations in my mind   
You got my concience asking questions that i can't find   
I'm not crazy   
I'm sure I aint done nothing wrong   
Now i'm just awaiting cos I heard that this feeling won't last that long_

Whispering now Hitomi continued to question the stars, "Why haven't you talked to me Van, have you found another? Did you forget about me already?" she asked between sobs.

_Never ever have I ever felt so low   
When you gonna take me out of this black hole   
Never ever have I ever felt so sad  
The way i'm feeling yeah you got me feeling really   
Never ever have I had to find   
I've had to dig away to find my own piece of mind   
I've never ever had my conscience to fight   
The way i'm feeling yeah it just don't feel right_

Hitomi wiped her eyes and looked at the stars, they now seemed to smile serenely at her instead of mocking her. Sniffing Hitomi hugged her legs to her chest wondering when she became such a wreck, was it last year? Last week?

_Never ever have I ever felt so low   
When you gonna take me out of this black hole   
Never ever have I ever felt so sad  
The way i'm feeling yeah you got me feeling really   
Never ever have I had to find   
I've had to dig away to find my own piece of mind   
I've never ever had my conscience to fight   
The way i'm feeling yeah it just don't feel right_

"Van will I ever see you again, how while this fairy tale romance end, happily ever after or tragedy?

_Never ever have I ever felt so low   
When you gonna take me out of this black hole   
Never ever have I ever felt so sad  
The way i'm feeling yeah you got me feeling really   
Never ever have I had to find   
I've had to dig away to find my own piece of mind   
I've never ever had my conscience to fight   
The way i'm feeling yeah it just don't feel right_

_You can tell me to my face   
You can tell me on the phone  
Oooh you can write it in a letter babe  
Cos I really need to know   
You can write it in a letter babe   
You can write in in a letter babe(fade)_

Getting up Hitomi glanced at the stars once more, slowly a smile spread across her features. Gazing at the stars she asked "You won't tell me will you?" only to be answered by a single white feather falling into her hands.

How was that? I hate songfics but I write them anyway *sigh* I'm just the walking contradiction aren't I. Review please. Ja Ne! 


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